Mad Zoo House

So, I've mentioned my father died a few years ago. Obviously, I feel robbed - he was relatively young and despite smoking for over 40 years was in pretty good health. Unfortunately because of an irrational fear of doctors, he never got checkups and by the time his cancer was found it was pretty much too late. He and I never got the chance to have a real relationship, and because I live over 3000 miles from where I grew up (and because the idea of his terminal condition left me paralyzed) I didn't get home in time to really say goodbye or have a conversation with him (he was in a coma by the time I got there and died 24 hours later).

Anyway! So I know a woman whose father has cancer. It got pretty bad. So bad that they asked her brother to come home, as well as relatives in China, to say goodbye. About 6 months ago, his latest CT scan came back clear. The cancer is gone. They're all aware it could come back, but they are considering him cancer-free. Obviously I was very happy for her, but at the same time, I was sad, jealous, bitter. I hated that reaction, certainly wasn't proud of myself, but there it is.

Yesterday I learned that her mother has a brain tumor. They don't have the results of the biopsy yet. Her mother hasn't been acting like herself for weeks, to the point where she doesn't think her mother recognizes her. So, she has no idea if her mother is dying or not. Her father's cancer could come back at any time.

So now I know better than to waste time and energy being jealous and bitter.